Sonnet 87

I found these while thumbing through some old writings. They were written in the spirit of pure insult, intended to piss off someone who almost knew as much about hockey as I do. I admit that they were directed at a guy I liked at the time - the guy I got rid of the next year, the quotes will live in infamy. I found them and thought they were a superb chuckle. Ah, how I disliked Brett Hull; still do, actually, but he did help the Wings win a championship.

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“You awesomely vain, intensely self-focused, narcissistic, panderous, insult-loving, poetry-naive, literary ignorant, wishing you were Brendan Shanahan, really like Brett Hull boy!”

“You good for nothing, mirror-loving, vanity-set-owning, constant-hair-combing, pretty-boy-like-Fedorov baby!”

“Presumptuous, ego-inflated, cocky, Keith Tkachuk wannabe!”

“You pain-inflicting, heart-stabbing, take-no-prisoners, insincere charm-spreading, false flattery-dispensing, Blackhawks-praising, rejection-happy Matt Higgins pretender!”