God, God, Goddamnit

I have more comments than posts.  How’d that happen?

Well, I’m sure I’ll eventually catch up with my comments.  And surpass them.  Between the busiest non-busy week at work, our server crashing every five seconds and my general lack of topics to discuss, it’s only natural that I’m falling behind on my writing.  It always happens.

It’s been a long week, with a lot contributing to my general blahness.  I truly am looking forward to the four days next week and the six days in December when I am away from without a care in the world.  Without those pesky eight hours of responsibility getting in the way, then perhaps I can get to important things with much more diligence than I’ve recently been displaying.  What are the important things, you ask?  Sleep, running at an hour when the sun’s not already setting, keeping up with everyone, actually sitting down to read something for more than 20- to 30-minute snatches.  I complain not because I am overstressed or too damn busy to do all of the above or just a whiny little snot; I complain because all of the above is caused by the approach of winter.  Goddamn you, daylight savings time.

There, I said it.  Time changes are severe cramps on my lifestyle – I need sun to operate.

It wasn’t always like this.  When I lived on-campus in Ann Arbor, I could get up before the sun was up and run a few miles at the indoor track.  I could get in a run before 8am and still be at my 8:30am class, no problem (and yes, I showered, smart asses).  Now, I do have a treadmill nearby, but there is no bright light or bustle of activity to wake me; no brisk walk to the gym in the dark with the cold nipping at me.  I am simply not awake enough to put in a run without the sun these days.

When I was in college, I’d make my way to the gym, then run five or six miles around the dinky little track at the CCRB.  There was always a crowd of morning regulars who were quick to correct the newbies if they were running in the wrong direction.  The ROTC group would sometimes invade the track, acting like asses the entire while.  The volleyball people would play a game, sometimes throwing a volleyball up to the track – your truly never stopped to throw it back down because, really, I’m not the idiot interfering with someone else’s workout here.  After the fix or six miles were over, I’d actually cool down and do some toning exercises before heading home.  How did I manage to squeeze all of this in during the course of a morning and still be quite awake the rest of the day?  Youth?  The adrenaline that seems to come along with college?  Bright gym lights that could burn out your retinas?

Ah, there we go.

After leaving college, I spent a brief period in Michigan and then headed to Toronto.  I was never able to regain that ability to wake up early in the morning and work out with the same motivation.  I did it, but it was tough.  Oooh, boy, was it tough.  I’m not sure if it was the fact that it seemed that much colder in Toronto; the fact that I was miserable at my graduate school; the fact that my running seemed to be suffering.  Whatever it was, I went through the motions, but there was no joy.

Have to say, regardless of the direction this post was supposed to be headed, my running still isn’t where it should be, not even during the summer.  The sun helps, but there’s still something stiff about my runs.  I’m determined to find out what it might be, even if it means consulting a running coach sometime in the near future.  It could be something as simple as my stride, something as big as fatigue.  But really, fatigue that lasts for a couple of years?

Gah.  All this because I decided not to run today.  Maybe I’m just annoyed, period.