Taken to Dreaming
More often than not, I do not remember my dreams. Either they’re horrible enough to block out, or good enough that my subconscious likes to fuck with me and keep me from writing down the good stuff that might lead to giggles or even a story. When I do dream and remember, I usually only share it with those who are in the dream. Like the time I had a dream in which my friend’s boyfriend finally proposed to her and he gave her a watch ring. I remember thinking, in the dream, that it was an awful engagement ring, but told her it was beautiful to not ruin her joy. After all, who am I to blast engagement ring choices? Hell, I don’t even wear jewelry, what do I know?
Lately, though, I’ve been having dreams about food: Specifically, not getting any food when everyone else around me is eating to their hearts’ content. The first dream happened about two weeks ago – I was in a buffet line filling up my plate with goodies, making my way up to the head of the line where the main dish was being served. The main dish was tamales, one of the damn hardest things to make – it’s painful (literally) and time-consuming. As I made my way, I suddenly spazzed out and lost all the food on my plate. I was sent to the back of the line to fill up once again. Upon approaching the head of the line, I again spazzed out in an elegant fashion. This happened three or four times. I was unable to eat. I remember thinking how klutzy I was, and how unfair it was that all my friends and family were getting to eat while I struggled to even fill up my plate. Hmm.
Last night, I had another dream in which my family, friends and I went to a Chinese restaurant in Toronto that people were raving about all the time. My dear friend and roommate from Toronto, E, drove us to the restaurant. For some reason unknown to me, after I placed my order I decided it’d be a good time to take a nap. Well, all of the food came except for mine. My companions made a mild inquiry into where my food was, but didn’t press all that much, and didn’t bother to wake me up to come and eat. I remember being asleep in the dream, but able to see all the action happening – my friends and family eating happily while I starved in my sleep. I was incredibly angry when I woke up in the dream, yelling about the poor service in the restaurant, but I was truly and wholly pissed at my friends and family. I thought they were inconsiderate bastards for allowing the restaurant to drag their feet on my dish (which was boxed up for me) and allowing me to sleep throughout their meal (which seemed fun and lively). I began to cry heartily. My brother looked at me in alarm while others chuckled uncomfortably. After shaking their initial shock, they ignored me and went back to having a gay old time.
Fuckers.
So why am I dreaming so much about food or, more specifically, my inability to get any food while my family and friends enjoy their dishes to no end? I’m not one for dream interpretation – the mind just likes to play once in a while, I think – but I was interested in seeing what it could "mean."
From dreamdoctor.com about food:
"Symbol of
spiritual or emotional nourishment. Hunger in dreams may reflect desire
for sensual nourishment in a romantic relationship or spiritual or
intellectual need for growth. Food in dreams also may reflect a
dreamer’s waking life issues with weight and body image."
From dreamdoctor.com about being asleep in a dream:
"Unconsciousness
in a dream indicates events that occurred without the dreamer’s
awareness, or memories that may be dormant or repressed in the
subconscious. If you fall asleep in a dream, consider that you may be
avoiding a difficult feeling or awareness in your waking life. Being
unconscious, similarly, may reflect the trauma of a previous
experience, that caused you to “shut down” your feelings and memory for
the event. Being in a coma suggests emotional unresponsiveness due to
repeated traumas and psychological injury."
Yes, but what does it mean when others are there and they’re not sharing, the selfish bastards!? That people tend to do traumatic things to me while at dinner that make me want more of something else? That I’m not getting enough love in every aspect of my life? I’d say that’s decidedly untrue; the only thing that rings vaguely true is that I need to grow intellectually – but then again, we all do, since we never really stop learning (cliche as it sounds).
Hmm . . . I also tend to dream about zombies a lot – does that mean I’ll one day join the walking undead and finally feast on some tasty food? Maybe my friends and family for being such asses?
Maybe I was just hungry. I’m off to eat Lucky Charms.
ETA: Dreaming about zombies mean that I’m emotionally detached. Yeesh. I need to live life, apparently. So let’s see: I need to grow intellectually, get off my ass and live, and confront the things I’m shutting down. I had no idea I was such a cornucopia of neuroses! I should be a playwright.
