Notes (Edited, Again)
Note to NyQuil: NyQuil is "the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever sleep better to feel better medicine." It is not supposed to allow you to wake up every four hours, sniffling and sneezing and coughing, your dreams clouded by convoluted 24 plots in which haircare products are tied to Dina Araz. I want my money back.
Note to Self: Do not take a cough drop an hour before eating the cake you have been looking forward to for about a month. It will taste medicine-y. You’re an idiot sometimes, self.
Note to People Searching on Rachel Ray: Enough already – I know nothing about her except that I hate her with the intensity of a thousand suns and would, without compunction or remorse, let a cougar get her. Did you get that?
Note to Creepy Acquaintance Sending Me Valentine’s Day E-Cards: I’m sorry, but I am not like the sister God forgot to give you – you have a sister, as do I (a sister I love very much, by the way). Look, it’s just not working out, okay? I’m sorry, but there’s someone else . . . Seriously, if this were a guy sending me stuff, a lot of people’s reactions – which have actually dropped into the "That’s sweet!" camp – would have me calling the police. ETA: And no, Creepy Acquaintance, I will not be getting together with you sometime between July 10 – 16. Even if I am in Colorado then, rest assured I will be nowhere near Denver. Yeesh.
Note to the Weather: Pushing us into fits of ecstasy at the 50 degree mark and then dumping snow on us a couple of days later is just plain cruel.
Note to Self, Part Deux: Get more notes.
Note to the NHL and the NHLPA (Specifically, Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow): Go to hell. Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, ad infinitum.
I hope this cold is a shortlived one, S, and that you start feeling better soon. As for hockey, the press conference is on right now, with the headline “NHL cancels season.” So sad, so very sad. Something better be worked out over the summer.
Me too, V. I’m actually not that bad today – a little sniffly, but the rest of me feels fine. I’m holding off on my run until 5pm since I figure it’d be smart to give my body more than 24-hour rest (it’ll be 27 by the time 5pm rolls around).
But really – haircare products intricate to the 24 plot? Nuts.
I am so furious at professional hockey right now. I’ve known this was coming, but it still stings. I’m almost thinking a trip to T.O. this summer to relive seasons past might be in order. Or at least watch our ’97, ’98 and ’02 championship videos.
Maybe you should take a little nap to rest up before you run. Or do a shorter run combined with pilates. Though if you take a nap you may dream something weird, like Sergei Fedorov and Dina Araz fighting over a bottle of Pantene while Jack is under pressure to save it without shooting either of them. That’d be a pretty cool dream to have.
Let’s watch those championship videos this weekend and order that four-disc set of Wings games. It’s not right going nearly a year without hockey, not right at all.
Sergei: I’ve got the hair!
Dina: Save my Behrooz or you’ll never see this Pantene bottle again!
Jack: *There* *is* *no* *time*!
I think I’ll pass on that nap, thanks! :D I ran yesterday and it wasn’t to my detriment, though doing some pilates tonight anyway isn’t a bad idea.
If I threw myself, weeping, at Stevie’s feet, do you think he’d take pity on me and organize a charity game between the Wings and Avs? I’d like to see Detroit kick Colorado’s ass at least once this year . . . If he won’t, then I guess watching the March 26, 1997 bloodbath will dry my tears.
Jack: Just give me the shampoo! All I want is the shampoo!
Dina: I want Behrooz safe first, then you can have the shampoo *and* the conditioner!
Jack: Ah, screw it, I use Pert anyway.
I think Stevie, being the nice guy that he is, would agree to that. If he can go to Moscow (even though he was scared to go to Russia) to play in Larionov’s farewell game, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind playing a charity game against the Avs. But it has to be at Yost.
Sergei: But Jack, my Pantene! My hair! I’ve got to have the hair!
Jack: No dice, Sergei.
Sergei: With the season cancelled, how will I afford my Pantene!?
Yes, any charity game would have to be at Yost. I’d take you as long as you promised that we wouldn’t be getting annoying phone calls every six seconds.