Brown Sugar and Mushrooms
My mother purchased a body spray from Bath & Body Works on Sunday and proudly showed it off to me on Sunday night. I agreed that it smelled very nice, but I’m not really a perfume, body spray or scented lotion kind of woman. I was once, but I now allow Dove soaps and Dove deodorants to help me occlude my funk. She offered me one of her purchases, but I declined–I know I wouldn’t use it and she would. Like I said, Dove woman through and through.
Apparently, she used some on Tuesday morning while getting ready for work. My brother asked what smelled so nice and my mother, half-asleep, said, "Brown sugar y hongos."
"Mushrooms?" A asked in horror.
"No! Higos! Brown sugar and higos," she answered, waking up fully.
Figs, she had meant. Still, the first combination is hilarious if not mildly nauseating. The second combo reminds me of four hundred fig trees.
I just really wanted to use the mix-up as a title. No groundbreaking post to see here.
Heh, I just have an image of portabella mushrooms sauteing in a bubbling brown sugar and olive oil concoction…then being arranged over a bowl of pasta, with a basil leaf for garnish. Mmmmm. Sweet and woodsy.
See, my vision involved mushrooms plucked off of a pizza and dropped into said bubbling brown sugar. You can see how that’d be ultra disgusting.
Speaking of disgusting, I’m watching Paula Dean on the Food Network right now making corned beef and cabbage. She used bacon grease and half a stick of butter, then tossed in the cabbage, and then finally dumped a can of scary-looking corned beef into the pan. It’s the most unappetizing thing I’ve seen this week.
Oh, wait, hold on. Now she’s making a seafood salad smothered in mayo and topped with breadcrumbs and even more butter…now she’s popping it in the oven.
I can’t watch anymore.
Paula Dean’s recipes are heart attacks on a platter. I don’t think I’d ever make one of her dishes–even the desserts have mayo, don’t they!?
I am now very grossed out by the seafood salad. Way to corrupt the natural healthiness of seafood, Dean.
I wonder what she would think of brown sugar and mushrooms. The dish wouldn’t be complete with a big ol’ dollop of Helman’s.
“Bring out the Hellmann’s and bring out the best!”
There’s a very specific reason why I don’t like mayo, but Paula Dean’s show just takes that revulsion and multiplies it by 20. Even if I’d never been in the hospital as a kid, I think her show would help me form an aversion to it.
I’ll take brown sugar and mushrooms (pizza ones, no less) over mayo of any sort any day.
I’ll take a smidgen of mayo, thank you. But not the Mexican kind with lime juice.
You nearly owed me a new computer.
I’m surprised the mayo down there doesn’t have chile powder in it.
It’s only a matter of time.
Today, I smelled like Brown Sugar and Hongos, because Mom and I got the same spray. It’s very nice.
Truer words were never spoken. In Mexico, it’s only a matter of time before the entire country is coated with lime and chile.
Those batos locos.