Running in a Winter Wonderland
Well, more like running in a slushy wonderland, but “winter wonderland” is my story and I’m sticking to it.
Anyway, Jon over at Chocolate Runner’s Blog had an excellent post a few days back regarding focus and losing said focus. It pretty much echoed the malaise I’d been feeling since I ran my half-marathon; while I treasure the experience and had a great time with the challenge of training and racing, the aftermath was sort of a letdown. I no longer had a goal, a focus, and I sometimes wondered if I had a reason to run. Of course, I have a half-marathon coming up in late April and the New York City Marathon in November 2006, but I’ve yet to start training for even the half-marathon. My running has been floundering, and I’ve been indulging in some laziness when it comes to my runs. I logged a grand total of 40 miles in November–this after constant 100+ miles from March through October. I’ve logged 44.14 as of today, so I’m definitely going to end the year on a low note.
It’s not just the letdown of no longer shooting for a set goal. I convinced myself, somehow, that the half-marathon was the first in a series of happy events that would eventually lead to a new job and a move. Of course that’s going to happen, but it didn’t happen in the timeframe I was hoping for. I had really hoped that finishing the half in a respectable time was harbinger of happy events to come, and I thought that my luck might turn and it would all happen soon. The fact that nothing happened for a long time after the half sort of depressed me, and made me wonder why I had ever dared to think that this accomplishment might boost my confidence enough to bring forth other events. Silly, of course, since my success in business is not dependent upon my success as a runner, but I can be delusional at times. Besides not having a firm training program and horrible Michigan weather, my down-in-the-dumps attitude really affected my running.
However, the weather finally cooperated today and, combined with my treadmill frustrations, I decided to head outside. I bundled up in my trusty old grey fleece cap, my new blue running gloves, a pair of flared black tights, and a purple fleece sweater. The ForeRunner was strapped to my wrist. And my new pair of New Balance 856 needed to be dirtied, after all.
I planned on running three miles, maybe pushing to four if I truly felt like it. I started off slowly, because though it’s been more than a week since it’s snowed, the passing time’s allowed the snow to pack itself into a slick sheet. I wasn’t expecting much–my dog fear is still going strong, and I wasn’t keen on the idea of slipping on the road. I figured it’d be another perfunctory run, just done outside out of sheer boredom and frustration.
Was I wrong. Sure, it was slippery, dogs barked at me, and my socks were soaked, but it was the first run I’ve enjoyed in a long time. My pace was slow–I shortened my stride in order to avoid a nasty fall–but the fresh air perked me up, the idea of dogs not biting me started to take hold, and the feel of solid ground beneath me (not a treadmill belt) brought a spring into my shortened step. I was actually having a good time while running! Amazing! I did look over my shoulder a few times to make sure dogs weren’t charging, but whenever a dog barked at me, it stayed in its yard. Wonderful! I ended the run with 4.12 miles done. It wasn’t even that cold. Truly astounding.
I sincerely hope that this is the first of many happy runs. I hope I can begin to separate my runs from my career aspirations, that I can put San Francisco firmly in my book of memories, where it belongs. I’m not saying this is the first in many happy miles to come (I don’t want to predict that, especially since it’s going to snow again tonight), but I do hope I’m beginning to shake the lethargy induced by the half-marathon and my career problems. Keep your fingers crossed.
