Across the (Multiple) Universe(s)

My little brother once aspired to be a theoretical physicist–he still might, in fact, but I’m not altogether sure if that’s still the case. Whatever he may end up doing with his life, he has always been fascinated by science and mathematics. The boy is a poster child for minority education in the sciences, and just a poster boy for science education in general. But with theoretical physics, his preoccupation focused on the all-important, research-consuming (in a good way), Edward Witten-producing, Brian Greene-hosted string theory. The universe, to be concise and not so clear, is made up of a lot of little stings that can move any which way they want to–each time of string is specialized, and they exist in up to 11 dimensions. String theory allows for the possibility of infinite universes and, according to my little brother, the utterance of any other possible universe makes it so. So, let’s create some universes, shall we (and M, jump in whenever you want if I’ve anything wrong, which I’m sure I have)?

WordNerd’s Universe #1: This universe. The only difference is what might be is now what might’ve been. WordNerd is starting to feel moderately successful, lives in a cute apartment with a new cute mirror, and is surrounded by fabulous people (more or less). This WordNerd is still in a crappy mood, and is getting pissier as the seconds go by. Just so you know.

WordNerd’s Universe #2: In this universe, let’s say that WordNerd absolutely loved her job at Dyn-o-mite. This means that this WordNerd likes auto racing, people who smoke inside of public buildings against the law, loves stinky dogs and hugs them non-stop, is sympathetic to Dyn-o-mite’s Republican leanings, and this WordNerd should probably consider joining the Michigan Militia at some point. WordNerd #2 is currently making $28,000/year, and has been for the past two years, and is perfectly content with it just as long as she gets to watch J.J. Lehto be an arrogant prick who doesn’t like women drivers. Hooray. This WordNerd is so uncool, she hates hockey and has heckled Steve Yzerman. This WordNerd should be shot.

WordNerd’s Universe #3: This WordNerd stuck to her original plan, formulated in third grade, and became a successful lawyer. She is currently fighting for truth, justice, and the American way, and making a buttload of money while doing so. She is rich, married with two children, and enjoying a Carribean vacation as spring slowly creeps its way to realization in our current universe. Lucky bitch. Her husband is also Christopher John Osgood, whom she met at a Red Wings game. Double lucky bitch.

WordNerd’s Universe #4: This WordNerd decided to follow the altered plan, becoming a geneticist instead of majoring in English. She successfully understood and completed Chem at the University of Michigan, when onto Orgo, and then steamrolled her way through the rest of her science-y type classes at the U-M. Medieval/Early Modern lit never even touched her unadled brain. This WordNerd is not married, but a handsome doctor at Johns Hopkins is going to propose marriage. WordNerd is considering saying no because she’s secretly seeing Jose Theodore, especially since he was just traded to Colorado and, even though she hates the team, she would like to live in the state.

WordNerd’s Universe #5: This WordNerd followed plan #3, which was computer science. After getting her degree in this, she and her older brother started a company that is hugely successful, delivering everything from web design to custom computers. They do not share any of their wealth with their younger siblings. However, business tensions are running high, and WordNerd-A Inc. is about to split into two, with WordNerd heading up creative services while A focuses on computer hardware. WordNerd will relocate her company to Colorado. She will be about to marry Yuri Butsayev in a lavish Mexican-Russian ceremony, and her sister will be terribly jealous.

WordNerd’s Universe #6: This WordNerd played the Michigan lottery and won the grand sum of $25,000,000,000. As wise as this WordNerd is, she prudently asked for yearly checks, sequestered most of the money into different accounts, set up trust funds for her parents and siblings, and continues to live a modest life despite her fortune. Of course, she does like to travel, so she’s been to Italy, Greece, France, Spain, and Britain multiple times. She was a bit adled and followed the Medieval/Early Modern track, but is now able to conduct research thanks to her wealth. She is a generous benefactor to the U-M English Language and Literature department, and she has sponsored a new writing contest: the OWordNerd Awards. She is single. Being that this WordNerd still wants kids, she’s decided on an anonymous sperm donor (who is a European hockey player), living her life as I once planned to: Live life to its fullest, and then have a little girl out of wedlock so she can watch the little girl grow into a strong, confident, and kick-ass woman. Oh, Hannah, you’re beautiful. *Sniff*

So, your turn: What other universes do you envision for me (or for yourself, if you want to do that)?