Say Hello to My Little Friend

Yes, I finally posted about the trip. You might think that means that business around here will continue as usual. However, things around sonnet87.com will never be normal again, I tell you. In fact, things are going to get better! As I mentioned, the road trip out in the southwest brought this blog a new friend. Did he delight me so much that I’ll finally let IP post again? Will I be revamping it and actually post on a regular basis? Will I shift focus and rant exclusively about the tourists on the Metro?

No to the first question. Yes to the second question. And yes, sort of, to the third question.

While on our trip, IP and I hit the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, which receives fewer visitors than its brother, the South Rim. The trip to the North Rim occurred a day after a hike in Zion Canyon National Park that left us both exhausted and exhilarated. I was, admittedly, a bit grumpy when we first set out toward the Grand Canyon. Even though IP implored me, with pumping fists and an eager grin, to get excited about the Grand Canyon, my reaction, at 6:30am, was to want to punch him, give him the stink-eye, then roll over and go to sleep once more. Don’t get me wrong, I love these hiking trips, but I think IP is much more of a morning person than I am when we’re out west. His enthusiasm, while later endearing, is positively sickening at such an early hour. And this from a woman who refuses to sleep in on long-run day even as IP begs me to sleep more.

Anyhow, as we approached the Grand Canyon through Kaibab National Forest, my spirits returned to me a bit and my senses were on high alert thanks to the numerous deer that caused us to break a few times. “A deserted road 99.9% of the time, and they choose to cross now,” IP complained after one of our last encounters. By the time we crossed into the national park (after buying a National Parks Pass—yes, we are park geeks, so bite us), I was feeling better, if not still tired. My legs ached and more sleep was needed, but there was a full day of the Grand Canyon ahead of us! My hiking spirits had returned to me.

However, as all good national park fans will do, we stopped at the Visitor Center, dropping in to see what they had to tell us about the geology and history of the place. The North Rim Visitor Center was a bit disappointing—they had a 3-D model of the canyon which was very impressive, but their displays left something to be desired. Their store was small, with books on how not to die in the Grand Canyon (or, alternatively, how some had died), the history and peoples of the park, and books on parks in the surrounding area. As always, there is a kiddies’ section, which is usually quite cute. I’d love to buy this stuff for my kids one day. I browsed about the small section, looking over to the stuffed animals that were always present. And that’s when I saw him, and fell in love.

No, not some rugged hiker ready to tackle a climb down the canyon, into the backcountry, his muscles glistening in the sunlight (there was no sunlight, it was quite cloudy). My eyes met not with a human being, but an absolutely darling, definitely impossibly charming, venomous arachnid. He looked at me, I looked at him, and it was love at first sight. I felt like a mother who had just gotten her first glimpse of her newborn babe.

So, without further ado, meet Scorpie the Stuffed Scorpion WordNerdia. Mother: WordNerd. Father: IP. We love him dearly—he has taken the place of usually first a dog, then a child, for this couple. From the moment I adopted him at the North Rim Visitor Center, IP and I took to him. He rode with us throughout the rest of the trip, enjoying a prime position on the rental car’s dashboard (I was loath to keep him in the back, though I realized, for his safety, I should’ve buckled him up—it’s the law). He saw the sights at Cedar Breaks National Monument, Kolob Canyons at Zion Canyon National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park, Goblin Valley State Park (“Oh, Scorpie,” I said to him while reading the Goblin Valley brochure, “it says we might come across one of your cousins! Of course, we also might come across a Great Basin Rattlesnake, and that’s no good . . .”), and Capitol Reef National Monument.

Scorpie, let me tell you, is one intelligent kiddo. He has desired, he told me while we first got acquainted in the car on the ride up to Point Imperial and Cape Royal, and later during the storm that hit while we were at the southern-most point of the scenic drive, that he has long wanted to start his own blog, but has been unable to due to poor internet connectivity at the North Rim. “Qwest, I tell you,” Scorpie said mournfully, “they’re just not pulling their weight out here. What’s a scorpion to do?”

“Well, Scorpie, I have a blog,” I said to him. “It’s anonymous, so no one really knows about it, and I really haven’t networked it into the blogsphere. However, I have plenty of space that’s unused. How would you like a spot on my blog?”

“Really?”

“Really. Feel free to develop it however you want—I only ask that you keep IP, my family, and me anonymous.”

“Hot damn!” he cried, clicking his pincers in absolute joy.

“Watch your language, young man,” I said sternly.

“Oh,” Scorpie replied, cringing (yes, I can tell when my boy cringes), “Sorry, Mom.”

Scorpie has informed me that he will start an advice column. If you have a question for Scorpie, please submit it to scorpie at sonnet87 dot com. He will also review restaurants, criticize tourists on the Metro (see, I told you), and try not to roll his eyes when IP tries to discipline him (Scorpie only listens to his Mom, I tell you—I fully expect Scorpie to get fed up and yell “You’re not my real dad!” at IP one of these days). I will also include a photo gallery of my beloved invertebrate, wherein you can partake in all of his adventures as he adjusts to life in the nation’s capital, far from the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.

So, give a hearty welcome to Scorpie, and please be on the lookout for his first post. You will find him intelligent, sensible, witty, and he’ll paralyze you into absolute fascination.

Heh, see what I did there?

Scorpie’s first post to come shortly. On what will he write, you ask? “Well, Mom,” he told me, “I think I’ll write about my first visit to New York during the marathon. Please tell Dad to not sleep too much, or I might have to sting him.”

See, he’s already rebelling. There I go, saying he’s going to write about DC, and there he goes, saying he’s going to write about New York. Kids.