Maybe in a Few Months I’ll Have to Put Up with IP Explaining to Me What the Definition of “Is” Is*
The conversation went something like this:
“Honey, I’m getting an intern.” Pause. “And it’s a woman!”
“I see—a fellow getting an intern, how odd.”
“I know how this’ll go: if she’s not attractive, you’ll make fun of me about how much I’m in love with her. If she’s attractive, you won’t say a word but you’ll silently stew. That’s your pattern.”
“I do not have a pattern and I will not stew. But I will call her Monica.”
“Why? Because of the Gonzales thing today?”
“Um, no . . .”
“Oh, I see.”
“Hee. Monica.”
“If you find her sitting on my lap, it’ll be an interesting cat fight.”
“Well, no, because it takes two. You’re out the door if that happens. She can try—it’s up to you to resist. If you’re truly happy, you won’t do a thing.”
“What if you find me sitting on her lap?”
“Then I probably really don’t want to be dating you anyway.”
*All in all: not really worried here.
