Lament for the Marathon (or why I’m sort of sad today)

When I woke up this morning, one of my first thoughts was this:

“Right now, people are taking buses to the bridge and trying to find a comfortable spot at Fort Wadsworth. Right now, people are shivering with cold and with nervous anticipation. Right now, people are pinning on their numbers and then layering up in some sweats. Right now, some people are having all the fun and oh man, I WISH THAT I COULD BE THERE.”

Like, seriously. When Marine Corps started last week? I said something like “I should’ve been there”, then forgot about it the rest of the day. Today, I’m going to run 4.5 miles and wish I could’ve tacked on another 21.7 about 200 miles north of here.

It’s comforting to know that my deferral this year means an automatic entry next year, and it’s comforting to know that time does indeed fly and that it will be the first weekend in November soon enough again. Dear Lord, though—it was a bit painful to think that I could’ve been there this morning and I chose not to be. I chose it—I miraculously got into the race through the drawing once more but I chose Marine Corps over New York and ended up doing neither. This is not regret over missing Marine Corps at all; this is regret in choosing Marine Corps over New York when New York had said yes.

I mean no offense to DC or the Marine Corps Marathon, but how dumb can you get? This is precisely why I never wanted to enter a distance longer than the half in Michigan—too close to home and not exciting enough. The same applied here. I figured that being a relative newbie in the area would add to the thrill, but even running the monuments during the breast cancer run in June fell flat for me. Not to mention that the sheer energy that New York created even before reaching my start corral last year—and the excitement it generated in me this year—means that I should’ve gone with New York this year. I have next year to look forward to, but goddamnit, did I almost ache with the thought of not being there today.

All that there’s left to do is concentrate on next year. My running is finally coming back to me and I know that I won’t have to worry about not being admitted to the race. My apathy towards Marine Corps won’t be duplicated as I train for New York, I’m sure. Barring injury or major obstacles, I shall be there on November 2, 2008.