Sonnet 87

When I stumble across weird Saline, Michigan news and see that the majority of my high school classmates are married (even the ugly ones! Ay!), I have to take deep breaths and keep on telling myself:

“Focus on their jobs. Focus on their jobs. No one has a career as good (read: well-paying) as yours, focus on the jobs! Do you want to be a manager at a store just for the sake of being married? No, you do not!”

I know that may sound weird, but I have been career-driven as opposed to relationship-driven; I also know all this angst is for naught because I know IP will one day be my Mr. WordNerd (for some reason, that brings Mr. Science to mind—very appropriate, actually), but it’s that whole “keeping up with the Joneses” idea, transplanted to marriage. I’m sure my classmates still in the Saline, Michigan area would fume at seeing the fat girl turned into thin, pretty girl with a nice career (hey, did I mention I got a raise last week—I did, with the promise of more by summer!), a great, handsome, smart boyfriend, living in a city that has a unique yet geeky vibe (even if the Metro does piss me off), a successful escapee of the small-town life where having a diamond engagement ring and pushing out a few kids is the benchmark of success for some women, especially my classmates (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I have a feeling I could’ve fallen into deep, deep postpartum depression had I had kids at a very young age and stayed in Saline—I know I would’ve felt my life was extremely limited, at least). I want to buffet myself over the head with my decorative pillows and scream—for shame, WordNerd! You were always proud to be the last to be married in your group of high school friends, why does it piss you off that the awkwardest woman (besides you, of course) in high school got married? It’s like that ridiculous line in The Wedding Singer, when Drew Barrymore’s mother laments that another bride is getting married—and Drew Barrymore is so much prettier, so why isn’t she married? WordNerd, because you didn’t rush into marriage with IP and have honestly gotten to know one another, you two are that much stronger for it. And you’re not one to rush—sure, it works out for others, but never for you. For shame, me! Get over it (besides, you’ll get to it soon enough).

Stop being such a girl!

Ah, actually, that helped. It’s okay I’m not yet married. I will be one day, after all, and until that time, IP and I get to know each other a little bit more. A good thing, no? All the things we had to achieve on our own helps us to come together as a strong, wily and loving couple.

Besides, I’ll just load our engagement announcement with all our educational and career successes in the Saline Reporter and the Milan News. That’ll learn ‘em!