A Review of Valentine’s Day, 2003 – 2008

IP and I have never been big on Valentine’s Day. The first Valentine’s Day we spent living in (not visiting) the same area didn’t happen until 2006 (and we started dating in 2002). That’s not to say that there haven’t been sweet moments that were associated with this day, even as we mock and ridicule it and the extremes people go through to prove their love to each other. Perhaps we have something of a superiority complex, but we’re much happier calling a gift truce each year than expecting dramatic romantic gestures of each other or obligatory passion. For us, the day has always been low key—far be it from us to ask how high when Hallmark says jump. Don’t even get us started on Sweetest Day.

However, there have been moments, both good and kind of sad, that I associate with Valentine’s Day and us.

February 14, 2003: On opening my email on this day in 2003, a smile breaks over my face as I see that IP has sent me an e-card. Given that he had left for an overseas project in early January, he obviously thought ahead and decided to surprise his girl, then studying for her master’s at the University of Torture, uh, Toronto. “I watch the sun, I watch the moon, I close my eyes and think of you.” I can still remember that cute poem with the silly guy watching the sun and moon cruising above him, closing his eyes and smiling in the last frame. I accordingly burst into tears. IP’s message wishes me a good semester, hopes that the Canadians aren’t pissing me off too much, and promises to call me when he’s stateside again. Yes, I still have the card and web page saved on my computer. Why do you ask? I am fairly sure I gave IP an early Valentine’s Day card before I left Michigan in early January prior to his overseas departure. Um, fairly sure.

February 13 – 14, 2004: After five months of not seeing IP (he had then left for Colorado), IP makes his first visit back to Michigan. The day before Valentine’s Day, after arriving at his hotel room to pick him so that he could join his colleagues for some research for the day, IP sits me down and asks, “Where do you think this relationship is going?” Taken by surprise, a bit suspicious of his tone of voice (at the time it sounded like a set-her-up-early-let-her-down-easy-later kind of deal), I honestly tell him that I care for him and that I see a lot of potential in the relationship despite the distance. IP is less sure and says so. I of course end up crying because I’m seriously disheartened (I think it’s because we’re both pretty emotionally invested at this point but IP is Dr. Practical, so he frustrates me in this instance in not recognizing it). That night I’m forced to endure an evening out at Ashley’s with his friends who continuously ask me when I’m going to move to Colorado. I’m given a golden line when someone tells IP he’s not that smart (which survives as an in-joke today), but Valentine’s Day itself is a bit rough on me even though IP gamely watches at Red Wings-Avalanche game with me (Wings lost). This is the year I gave IP red boxers from Red Envelope that read “Dr. Sweet Buns” only because they didn’t let me write out “Dr. Sweet Ass”. Prudish bastards.

February 14, 2005: Yes, we did survive until 2005. Duh.  IP sends me a copy of The World of Christopher Marlowe, a book on Shakespeare’s rival (dead too soon) that I’d been coveting for a bit. The box containing the book arrives early and I eagerly post about it on my blog (then called “Not an Independent Thought in My Head”—hyuck!). In the comments, IP informs me that he’s been given a raise effectively immediately—this after his boss had told him that he might use IP’s raise to instead purchase stock for the lab (fucker). However, IP is on the cusp of escaping the horror that is Colorado Ehbeeoh but doesn’t know it quite yet. (He’s in the running for a job he ultimately turns down; he also starts to receive notice from associations in DC for interviews in the spring, which is exciting.) As you can tell from the old post, the Internets learns that I own 37% of IP. This is the year that I get IP “Jump Me Checkers” from Red Envelope. I’m fairly sure it’s somewhere in the apartment but we have never played it. So much for making checkers fun for me (I always lose to him).

February 14, 2006: While we actually began our Valentine’s Day truces on this day in 2006, the sweetest moment of learning that I had a new job in the DC area was calling IP up at his busy office and asking “Honey, would you like to have dinner together on Valentine’s Day?” That ended up not happening precisely because IP worked in a busy office but it was nice to be nearby nonetheless.  My office is surprised that IP and I have called a truce, with the women thinking I’m a dupe and the men thinking I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread.  Seriously, though?  IP getting me a Diet Mountain Dew after we’ve had a fight on any random day is much sweeter than flowers from the vendors near Metro stations (whenever I see guys buying those flowers I figure they’re in deep trouble at home).

February 14, 2007: IP, I know we did the truce thing again, but was there anything of note last year? I do know that we had a “snowstorm” the night before that complicated the morning commute on Valentine’s Day (and given this year’s “ice storm”, a note to the area—participants of the Potomac Primary, please procure salt to prevent precarious conditions, posthaste!). I do know I registered for New York 2007 on this day a year ago. But the truce held.

February 14, 2008: And here we are. Happy Valentine’s Day to my beloved boyfriend and domestic partner. (Hee!) May I never have to demand palimony of you. May I never have to demand alimony of you. May I always be lucky enough to have you even if you’re not that smart according to SJ.  Thanks for not dragging me to a romantic dinner surrounded by a million other couples; thanks for not making me spend money at Victoria’s Secret today; thanks for telling me you love me when it really counts.  Truce?