Happy *!#&%!@ Birthday, Dad!
My father, although he will deny this until the end of time, loves to swear. I receive my love of swearing from him. I was always shocked that he was shocked that I could swear like a sailor, in Spanish or in English. My brother was particularly embarrassed by this because men in Mexico thought I had quite the mouth on me and needed some correcting. Although my father was surprised, he far from discouraged my swearing. Instead, from the time I could talk until now, he bursts into laughter and actually asks me to repeat myself (then and now). I realize that this is kind of babyish on one level, but on another it’s hilarious because he always asks “And you’re an English major?” before chuckling again. I repeat myself for his entertainment and it’s always a winner.
When I was around three years old, my father was particularly fond of saying “you fucking son of a bitch!” to people on the road. If road rage didn’t exist in all its forms back then, my father was certainly a leader in developing it (and yes, I did inherit it, thank you). Naturally, his three-year-old, precocious and precious, repeated what her father had said. I somehow ended up calling me poor dad a fucking son of a bitch. Rather than get angry and punish me, my father was tickled. He’d urge me to say it again because there is nothing funnier than a kid swearing. When little brother Mathgeek, at the age of two, would tell people to fuck off in Spanish, accompanied by the appropriate Mexican hand gesture, I laughed until I nearly lost my lunch. Hi to the lar to i to the ous. So I suppose that’s why dad never minded having his little girl insult him—I had no idea what I was saying and it was cute. Like I said, it still continues to this day.
And on this day, my father turns 60 years old. Have a very happy birthday, Dad, even if I can’t be there. I’m glad we got to celebrate it last weekend by gorging ourselves on carrot cake and ice cream. Thanks for being a terrific father and for encouraging me to say what I think even if it offends delicate ears. Thanks for having a sense of humor and teaching me to have one, too. And most of all, thanks for being the best dad in the world—along with Mom, you’re giving us kids the best example on how to be good parents. You are there for us. I am who I am and where I am thanks to your hard work and your love. Enjoy your day and enjoy your gift. Just wait until you see what we’re planning for Father’s Day!
