Dear Washington Capitals and New Jersey Devils

Thank you very much for your slogans, which encourage my dear Detroit Red Wings* to Stanley Cup victory!**

• Washington Caps: Rock the Red
• New Jersey Devils: Rock Your Red

We appreciate it, guys. Knowing we have the support of two teams in the East means a lot to us, it really does.

And now a recap of the Red Wings’ slogans since the 1990s. I must say that the Wings marketing people are no great shakes at it, either, but they do have hits occasionally (Cup years in bold):

• 94: Paint the Town Red (Duh if you don’t get this)
• 95: A Call to Arms (Mascot for the Wings is Al the Octopus)
• 96: I Want Stanley (We really, really did—go to hell, Colorado Avs)
• 97: Get Up! (Hey, weak, but they won the Cup, right?)
• 98: Raise Your Hands (Ditto—by the way, SWEEP, Washington Caps!)
• 99: Are You Ready? (I think my sister pointed out that McBane from The Simpsons says this at one point in the series; however, the Wings were asking us if we wanted a three-peat—we said yes and we didn’t get it)
• 00: Bring It On Home (Tried, didn’t work)
• 01: Get Your Red On (Always, Wingies — Nationals, you cannot hold a candle to them; unfortunately for you, you’re in baseball, so you’re automatically yawn-worthy)
• 02: Let ‘Em See Red (Playing Carolina in the Finals really created a blur of red, but the northerners rightfully triumphed)
• 03: Red Storm Rising (Lame)
• 04: Turn on the Red Light (Also lame)
• 05: No Slogan — DAMN LOCKOUT!
• 06: Bring It! (Um . . . yeah)
• 07: Join the Red Wave (Yay for Wings players being inundated in cranberry juice!)
• 08: Are You In? (Guys, c’mon)

*A word of advice: you probably shouldn’t use the color that’s in the top team’s name. Nor should your local baseball team recycle slogans. Just saying.

*I must say that I really don’t mind the Caps and the Devils; however, if it’s down to a battle between the two at any point for supremacy in the East, my hat tips towards the Devils. I have a lot of respect for them. Sorry, Washington, I live here, but my hockey heart’s not here.