Dear Barista: Yeah, I “Got a Great Idea” — Back Off!

I have a Starbucks barista who hates me. Can you believe?

Here’s what happened. Said Starbucks barista was the woman who took my order on the day that I found out my grandmother had died. I was a bit teary-eyed, flushed, and had a glum look on my face. The barista immediately told me to smile, cheer up – nothing could be that bad! She then asked what was wrong. “I . . . would rather not tell you,” I said. This is part of the reason why you never, ever tell anyone to smile or cheer up or to confide in you why they are unhappy. It is simply none of your business and you have no clue or right to know what’s going on in someone else’s life. Had she asked, “Are you okay?” I probably would’ve answered, “No, but thank you for asking.” But no, she had to police me instead.

When I told the barista that I would rather not say – had I said it, she probably would’ve had one crying mess of a woman in front of her and wouldn’t that have been awkward – she immediately clammed up, told me what I owed, and has been unpleasant to me ever since. No greeting, no check to see if my drink order’s been taken (it usually has by the other, friendly barista), no final words as she hands my gift card back to me. She’s apparently offended that I declined to share my life and sadness at that moment with her and the other employees and customers of this Starbucks. Aren’t I a terrible person?

And you know, it’s getting tiresome. It’s getting tiresome to endure her rudeness to me that turns into a sugary tone of voice for the customers before or after me. I am perfectly pleasant to her – and I believe that it was more than obvious that I was extremely upset that day back in January, and that my reaction should’ve told her that the matter was personal. My tone of voice on that day was far from rude. When I told her I’d rather not say, I actually came very close to crying – my voice cracked and I immediately brought a hand up to my face just in case I needed to cover my eyes. If she didn’t read that? She’s emotionally blind and definitely has no right to monitor others’ emotions, much less while she’s on shift at Starbucks and attempting to diagnose someone she doesn’t know.

So very unprofessional – as someone who works in another form of customer service, I know better than to demand certain emotions from my customers and to not get mad if they don’t fit my definition of what they should be feeling. So I’d like to take the opportunity to tell said barista to go to hell. I will feel whatever I damn well feel like feeling while I order my tea or misto or latte. Take your smile police badge and stick it where the sun don’t shine.

Author’s edit: Welcome to those checking out my blog thanks to the mention in the Express Blog Log. That’s the first time I’ve been in public print (which is to say, I write a lot of internal stuff that’ll never see the light of D.C. day) since my days at Dyn-o-mite!.