Healthy

Last night, my doctor called to tell me that I was perfect. My blood work was excellent all around and she told me to stay healthy. I boasted to IP that I now had confirmation that I was perfect, so he’d better act accordingly. However, her charge to stay healthy left me a bit confused. How do I do that?

Well, WordNerd, the reader says in exasperation, keep doing what you’re doing. And to that I say duh. However, the nagging voice in the back of my mind asks: Is there anything else I could be doing to get even better numbers? Like, say, lose about 20 pounds and get back to my college weight, hmm?

Weight and health have been on my mind lately. I am described by my doctor as perfect and healthy, with great habits that ensure me a long life unless the right turners on 16TH Street and East-West Highway can’t slow the fuck down for pedestrians crossing legally. I do cardio three to four times a week, lift weights three times a week and have put on approximately 14 pounds of muscle since last year (this according to my Tanita scale). I am officially in the realm of “fitness” according to most charts. My blood pressure and resting heart rate are superb. I am training for a second marathon.

My BMI says that I’m overweight. I weigh 20 more pounds that I did in college. I no longer run 30 miles per week. Horror!

So even if all the evidence says that I’m a healthy woman, those three little facts above have the capacity to ruin my day – and never you mind that I’m still in the same size range as I was at 21.

I am trying to work past those hang ups because, simply put, they’re not healthy. Agonizing over what I eat on any given day only serves to stress me out; questioning how much fat is in any particular food drives me crazy; writing down what I eat only serves to make me think my eating is out of control. Exercising absolute control over every morsel is tiring. I was on Weight Watchers last year for a while – I lost 14 pounds but didn’t make any cardio or strength gains, and was feeling constantly deprived. Isn’t it funny that those 14 pounds came back with a 7% decrease in body fat percentage when I started fueling enough to actually maintain muscle gain?

So I’m trying to not focus on what I eat but on what my body can do. I don’t want to scrutinize every type of food that passes my lips, but I do want to become a better runner and keep on getting stronger (I did five pushups yesterday – yay!). If I’m hungry, I’ll eat. I’ve noticed in the past few months that if I give myself permission to eat any food, I don’t feel deprived – and hence don’t feel the need to eat to past full when I do allow myself something previously verboten. I’m sick of feeling guilty, or sick of being made to feel guilty by skewed images of beauty, because I happen to munch on some fries. My body’s still strong, my weight’s incredibly stable (save for those WW days), and my blood work is wonderful, especially for a woman with a family history of diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

It’s true, I shouldn’t do anything different than what I’ve been doing the past six months – following my body’s cues (even when I cringed inside and thought myself fat). Listening to my body’s cues gave me a great biological report card. Dropping calories or intensifying running before I’m ready won’t make me feel any better – in fact, I’ll probably just end up hungrier than ever and injured. Take a look at what I eat and you’d probably wonder what the hell I could drop. (Fage 2% Greek Yogurt!? NEVER!) Taking it slow and smart, getting what my body needs (definitely more protein in my case), and challenging myself because it’s fun – yes, a marathon and weight training can be fun! – will keep me on a healthy path. Not flat-stomach thin, but that’s okay. I just got confirmation yesterday:

I’m perfect!