My Dad
My father’s father left the family when my dad was only five years old. From that moment on, my dad had the potential to become just what his father is: irresponsible, lacking empathy, unwillingly to face life’s realities. Instead, my father became a stand-up man and the best father in the world.
Because of that abandonment, my father worked from a very young age; when people talk of immigrants – and here I think they mean legal and illegal – taking advantage of the system, I think of him sleeping on metates on the floor with venomous snakes and scorpions about, just so that he could get some rest before the next haul of cotton or fruit or alfalfa. I think of him having to abandon his schooling at the age of 12, even after proving himself the smartest sixth grader in the state and getting to meet the president of Mexico. I think of him busting his ass, trying to get Ford Motor Company to hire him permanently, calling every single day to see if there were any positions just so that he could make sure his young wife and his two kids were eating. I think of him pulling himself up by the veritable bootstraps – here is a man who had nothing and turned it into everything. I think of how proud I am of him, and how all those people who speak out against immigrants can kiss my Mexican ass – though I won’t afford them the opportunity because my ass is too good for them.
When my father married my mother, my grandmother was nervous – she thought that the saying “like father, like son” was true. She feared for her youngest daughter, afraid that my father would leave her like my biological grandfather left my paternal grandmother. Nothing doing, though – my dad proceeded to exceed everyone’s expectations of him (we have a history of doing that in my family) and provided a good home to my mother and us kids. My dad raised us to be hardworking, savvy, and curious – there was no greater gift my father gave me than to question authority while seeking knowledge. He’s produced three Michigan graduates and one MIT prefrosh; he always says that it’s only to our credit, that he just lucked out with good kids. To that I say bullshit – my parents both provided us with the best they could offer, they did everything they could to give us every advantaged, they sacrificed whatever they could in order to give us what we have today. I would not be where I am without him, and I would definitely not be where I am without his blowing everyone’s expectations of him clear out of the water.
He never pressured me to be the best; he only encouraged me to do my best. He never was disappointed if I wasn’t perfect; he always said it was better to do things right than to not do them at all. He always wants us to slow down and smell the roses – better to get there late for having done so than to not get there at all. He taught me to work hard but to look out for myself — never let go of who you are just to please some idiot at the top. I hope that I’ve made him proud with what I’ve been able to accomplish in my life – I’m pretty happy with it myself because he gave me his total support.
So here’s to you, Apá. You came to the States to hand out coconut candy and kick ass, and you were all out of candy. Thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve made and continue to make in the name of family; thank you for the dignity in you that said no, you were not like your own father, that you were your own man. Thank you for passing on that dignity and helping us kids towards success. Thank you being a political junkie, a voracious reader, a deep thinker on religion, a person interested in all studies. Thank you, along with Mom, for making us a close family that can always talk to each other. Thank you for instilling in me the thought that family isn’t just about blood, it’s about love. Thank you for being so fantastic, and I thank you in advance for the hopefully many years in which you will provide IP and me with great advice and wonderful insight as we establish a new branch of the family.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Have yourself a nice cold beer – you’re more than earned it today!