Of Limited Use
The threats have been relentless. The disdain and disappointment is sometimes overwhelming, but we have decided to stay strong. No matter what people say, no matter what people do, we are united ($10 [family members excluded] if you can guess what song I’m paraphrasing in that sentence). IP and I will not, not be getting a television anytime soon.
Dramatic enough for you? No!? Read on!
IP has been sans TV for close to the length of our relationship; I have been without the television’s warm glowing warming glow going on three years. If you’re completely honest with yourself, you have to admit that there’s not much going on there that’s absolutely vital and/or intellectually stimulating enough to keep any reasonable human anchored to a set for hours upon hours a day. And yet it happens. My family is rabid in their TV consumption, our friends are profoundly disappointed that we can’t share in their delight in bad VH1 dating shows. You don’t know how many times I hear, “Hey, have you see that commer—” and then the person cuts themselves off, noting with extreme displeasure that I do not have a television set. I just shrug and let the person continue with their description of said commercial since not much can stop a person from sharing something funny they saw on TV.
I’m not completely immune to television’s appeal, of course, and neither is IP; we both love The Simpsons, he’s into The Sopranos, I’m very much in love with Pushing Daisies — however, neither of us is motivated enough to actually buy a set. I prefer to watch Pushing Daisies from the comfort of my computer screen, and that’s only if I remember that I need to watch the latest episode (I’m usually about two weeks behind at any given time). IP is happy now that the entirety of The Sopranos is on DVD and he no longer has to worry about not getting spoiled when a season rolls around on HBO. But the bulk of what’s on TV is definitely not appealing; during my six miler yesterday, I was subjected to the absurd and highly sexist Real Chance of Love, which apparently likes to dress women in tight clothes, have them throw themselves at two guys, and act like idiots in order to win the love of some stranger on TV. I do realize that these people do it to themselves — they are the best kind of famewhores who love their 15 minutes and don’t mind a little humiliation for a bit of exposure — but I just don’t understand who would find this entertaining enough to actively watch (and schedule in their TiVo). It’s not entertaining. It’s embarrassing. Thank the Jebuslug for CNN as an option to which to zone out to during my runs since my eyes need to go somewhere that’s not the treadmill display; not exactly my favorite source of news but at least it’s sometimes discussing relevant issues.
Hey. I said sometimes.
My family in particular is threatening to gift us a TV for our wedding, saying that no house is complete without one. Besides using it to hook up a Wii, I see no use for a television; there is very little that I want to watch and there is very little I can’t find online. I have to fight for my time thanks to a long commute, time at the gym, and your typical weekly chores — I don’t want to let TV suck away any of the remaining time I have left over to read, relax, sometimes write and be outside. I get enough TV at the gym; the 30 to 60 minutes I spend in front of the sets four times a week is quite enough. And unfortunately, when I’m at the gym, all I get are bad TBS movies, dated sitcoms, Lou Dobbs (UGH) and bad dating shows; thank goodness for the iPod. If TV were nothing but Pushing Daisies, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (which are all online, by the way)? Heaven, I tell you!
So unfortunately, no matter how much disappointment and cajoling we may get, a TV is not in our future. We do realize that if we have kids we might have to consider getting one; while we can handle not knowing what our office mates are talking about when they discuss the latest American Idol episode, it may be a bit unfair to subject our kids to the same until they make that choice themselves. Of course, there is such a thing as moderation which we will practice. The last thing I want is my kid to be a replica of me at 13: never active, always inside, glued to the TV once homework and my latest bad novel were done. Our no-TV days will come to an end should we have kids, but I hope fervently that my kids will prefer play over TV.
So please, no TV, not as a wedding gift or any other kind of gift. Sure, it may be a Stuff White People Like item, but in our case it’s a Stuff This Mexican and Italian Couple Like Because It Gives Us More Free Time thing. Gratzi and gracias!