Guest List (Or Not) Hilarity

We all know by now that I’m quite the evil daughter.  My own mother has affirmed that, indeed, I am a bitch of the highest order.  But she means it in a complimentary way, honestly: she means that I can take care of myself and do not take much crap from people.  There’s a better way to say that I can be no nonsense (for instance, the word strong springs to mind), but it was funny to hear my mother calling me a bitch.  Beetch, she said.  I loved it.

However, I’m sure she’s not appreciative of the fact that I’m laughing right now, a little bit at her expense, at what me not taking crap and her insistence at following protocol has wrought upon her.  It’s not nice and I really should stop, but this amused me to no end.  What follows is a paraphrased Yahoo messenger conversation I had with my little sister Dorkus.

Dorkus: Have you talked to Mom lately?

WordNerd: No.  Why?

A few moments pass as Dorkus types out her response; in the meantime I’m getting nervous because I know it has to do with two things that are related—the wedding and the wedding invitations.

Dorkus: She went to church on Sunday and was apparently talking to A and M in the parking lot after mass.  Mrs. S [ed. note: my high school science teacher] came up to Mom and congratulated her on your engagement.

WordNerd: Aww, that’s so sweet of Mrs. S!  Did M and A automatically assume they were invited when they heard the news?

Dorkus: Mom said they didn’t say anything.  She just felt embarrassed.  I think she’s going to talk to you again.

IP (chiming in from afar): Hey, she wanted to publish the damn announcement.  It’s going to get read.

I found this extremely hilarious, precisely because of what IP pointed out—my mom desperately wanted to announce the engagement and we acquiesced.  Now it’s come to bite her in the ass by having the two people in her circle who are not invited to my wedding (if you’re curious why, read the link above) find out second hand when the mother of the bride is standing right in front of them.  I was also highly amused by my own reaction.  Instead of focusing on M and A (who I no longer view as a problem as they are not invited), I focused on the sweetness of Mrs. S.  She was a great teacher and a good listener, one of the few that the school had.  I kept in touch with her briefly after high school, but life sort of got in the way.  It was nice of her to approach my mom and congratulate her (even if it did embarrass my mom in the process—Mrs. S didn’t do it on purpose, after all, and she has no idea of the kind of issues I have with A and M).

I’ll no doubt be hearing about how embarrassed my mom was, and about how we have to invite M and A now.  To which I say feh.  The decision has been made and our list is final: no M and A, ever.  Not even on the Z list.  They’ll be invited over my dead, Maggie Sottero gown-covered body.