We’re All Familiar with the Tragedy of Being You*

Acquaintance: *sigh*  You know how you can tell when someone’s jealous of you?

Me: *No, but I have a feeling I’m about to find out* What do you mean?

A: Well, I was at this business meeting.  I’m talking to this guy and his fiancée is supposed to meet us to discuss some things about their wedding.  So we’re talking, having a good conversation, kind of clicking.  Then she comes in for the meeting.  *sigh*  You should’ve seen the look she gave me.

Me: Um, maybe she was just looked pissed off because she was running late and a bit stressed?  She’s planning a wedding.  It’s tough.  *I speak from experience*

A: No, I can tell she doesn’t like me because I get along with her man.  And he liked me.  *sighs as if cursing the heavy burden that is hers; it must be difficult to be hated à la Kelly LeBrock and Cybil Shepherd* I really want to work with them, but I don’t think she wants to work with me.

Me: Um, they’re engaged; I’m pretty sure she’s not feeling that insecure.  And just because you were discussing a business venture doesn’t mean you were “clicking.”  I’m guessing he was just telling you what it was they were looking for and she probably knows that.

A: It happens all the time to me.  I can’t help it if their men find me attractive and desirable.

Me: *rolling my eyes, thanking the Jebuslug I’m on the phone* I don’t know why you’d want the job if that’s the truth, but if you get the job, great; if not, no big deal, people get married all the time.  Someone will hire you.

A: I suppose you’re right.  I just hate it when that happens to me.  *sigh*

Oh, man.  Conversations like these make me marvel at how delusional people can be.  Because this kind of conversation?  Is par for the course with this person.  And it’s not cool considering the circumstances (which I won’t divulge but let’s just say that, as an outside observer, her world’s about to implode).  And her assumptions?  Are usually wrong.

*Jonathan Coulton’s Someone Is Crazy