Wedding Fatigue with Six Months to Go

Ay.

So I’ve been off of all things wedding-related for the past two weeks. In the interim, my bridesmaids have ordered their dresses, my fiancé and his best men have been casually discussing suits, and two of the save-the-date/invitations that we sent out have been returned as undeliverable to me (I somehow transposed the street number, though I’m sure I copied and pasted the info from an electronic source). And I? Have not done squat except send a few confirmation emails to friends who have RSVP’d to our wedding.

And you know what? It feels fantastic to not deal with it at the moment.

Wedding fatigue has set in. Dangerously early, one would think, since I’ve been told wedding fatigue isn’t supposed to set in until after the nuptials. Why?  ‘Cuz planning your day is so exciting!  Except it isn’t when you’re stressed out by one too many things (general planning, invitations, families, traveling, decision-making, etc).  You would think I could hold out until the date given that I’ve done event planning before. You would be wrong.

I can’t even muster up enough energy to print new envelopes for the two invites that were returned. Whenever anyone asks me about my progress on the wedding, I answer with a vague, “Oh, you know,” a wave of the hand, and then some mumbling before changing the subject. IP and I do discuss the wedding on occasion, but it’s mostly to figure out the most horrible seating arrangements we can fathom for the people we do not like but who have voiced their eagerness to attend (damn obligatory invites). I need to call the family dinner venue to give them a new credit card number; I suppose my dress will be coming in soon, so I’ll have to start fittings eventually; I’m now completely uninterested in deciding on centerpieces after a couple of months’ worth of agony over them; all the little details I remember being of utmost importance in creating the perfect ambiance at the venue have now gone by the wayside, and I’m not enthusiastic about the idea of DIY-ing anything for the décor. Should my bride friends in the D.C. area want to get together for dinner, I’d happily join, but I think I’m pretty much done participating on the online message boards. Let’s just put it this way: smart Mexican woman plus the same ignorant Michiganders who tormented me when I was a child simply for being Mexican? Mix we do not. My D.C. buddies are cool, but a lot of the people in Michigan stayed in Michigan for many reasons, and refusing to broaden their perspectives is one of them.

The one thing I really, really, really want to see soon? The vows. I must see the vows. The vows are of utmost importance; I want to make sure our officiant is writing according to our wishes, will not sneak in a deity at the last minute, and will listen to us when we want to make changes. Our officiant’s a bit strange, doesn’t have the best reputation, and I think you really need to work hard to stay on her good side. As long as she can marry us in the fashion that we desire, fine, she can be strange all she wants. Just leave our vows out of it, you know? Anyway, the ceremony’s my primary concern, and I have a feeling it’ll continue to be my primary concern up until the moment it happens—it’s the most important part, after all. The fact that my officiant isn’t going to be sticking around for the reception (we’re her first wedding of the day) is great; it adds two more spots to the B list!

The one thing I want to be perfect is our ceremony. Everything else can be a fun party, and every fun party has its moments, so I’m not going to stress out over the little stuff. Nothing has to be orchestrated or choreographed, nothing has to be perfectly decorated, and everything has to be a celebration for IP and me. So I’m throwing away the event planner attitude about schedules, food displays, décor, announcements, and any other traditional crap that sucked me in temporarily. The bottom line is that I want to be married to IP. After we’re pronounced as husband and wife, everything else is gravy. The words “I do” are the meat and potatoes of it all.

According to my online wedding planner, I don’t have to do diddly-squat until mid-April; the tasks involve apparel (my wedding dress should be in, I apparently should select undergarments, and the groom and groomsmen should select something to wear), beauty (I should select who’s going to do my hair, but since I can’t go to Michigan until April, there’s a task that’ll thankfully have to wait), and rings (something IP and I will probably get over in the course of one day; find a slim white gold ring for me, find a comfortable ring for him). We should also be booking our honeymoon, but since we aren’t doing anything remotely resembling a honeymoon until 2010, that can definitely wait (a vacation, though, sounds wonderful).

Seriously, though? I think this was a classic case of too much, too soon. It’s like overtraining; you’re bound to get fatigued and possibly injured if you overdo it.  If I ever get pregnant, make sure to remind me to not devour all literature, websites, and planning books in sight within the first two months.  Make sure to tell me that I don’t have to decide on nursery decorations immediately.  Make sure to remind me that all that matters is the human being who’ll be waiting for me at the end of the process.

Kind of like all that matters is that IP be waiting for me at the end of the aisle this summer.