I Like Our Wedding Again

Can you  believe it?  I’m finally feeling some warm feelings towards the wedding.  The marriage I was always hot on; the wedding, the day?  Eh, not so much.  Thanks mostly to the stresses of planning, family, and the daunting idea of what needed to be done.

Thanks to sitting down last night before dinner and going through a list, IP and I were able to narrow down what it is we need to do.  We organized tasks into categories rather than a timeline; yes, we know we need rings, but does there have to be a separate task to pick them up a month later?  We know we have to do that!  So we took that approach with everything, divided up tasks, and thought about asking some family members for help in different areas.  At the end of the conversation I felt giddy.  Yay, we’re on the same page!  IP said it was helpful to see what needed to be done; he’d imagined that it wasn’t that much, but it’s a fair amount.  Now he knows, and we can nudge each other to get tasks done.  First up?  Suits and rings.

The week started out with some guest list drama; on Monday, I received an email via our wedding website from a cousin who was RSVP’ing for his mom and dad (my uncle and his wife) and for . . . himself and his wife.  My first reaction was OMG, WTF, LOL?!?  Picture a smoking hot, half-dressed woman jumping up and down in a hotel room in frustration, then diving headfirst into a pillow to scream without disturbing the other guests—yeah, that’s me.  My uncle and his wife are invited.  My cousin?  Not so much.  I forwarded the email to IP and we composed a quick email back: polite but firm, indicating that we were crunched for space.

I called my mom, who informed me that she had spoken to my uncle the night before, who had told her that he was going to have his son RSVP for all four people.  My mom had tried in vain to get my uncle to call me to verify that this was okay (though I don’t believe she pushed hard enough; I know she didn’t have the guts to tell my uncle that his son and daughter-in-law were not invited), but my uncle refused to do so, indicating his belief that the invitation addressed to him and his wife was an open invitation to the entire family.  GAH!!!!!!!!  Apparently my cousin had wanted no part in this but was forced to invite himself by my uncle.  Great.  Just great.  Now I have my uncle dictating my guest list.  What next?  My side of the family will put IP and me to bed that night for our “first time”?  Shit.

The kicker was that I had spoken to my mom earlier in the evening, giving my parents another two spots to fill.  My mom immediately wanted to use it for some cousin who ripped off my dad years ago; I had to remind her of that and tell her to talk to my dad to make an invite decision together.  My poor dad; he’s been nothing but relaxed throughout this whole thing but has had next to no input on the invites allocated to them.  So after speaking to my uncle, my mom and dad planned on using their new spots for my cousin and his wife.  Fine.  But did my mom leave a voicemail with me to let me know?  Nope.

So my cousin writes back, embarrassed, assuring me that he hadn’t meant to presume, and that he would tell his parents that the entire family was not invited, that this was not a huge, Mexican village shindig.  At this point I was informed of my parents’ plan to use their spots for my cousin and his wife, so I wrote back and informed him of this, letting him know that he was more than welcome to come.  But I did ask that he keep his attendance to the wedding mum.  Reason being?  I don’t have the room or the money to invite two dozen other people and their spouses.  My cousin never wrote me back, but I’m going forward with the presumption that he is attending until he informs me otherwise.  My mom is freaking out over this, which annoys the hell out of me.  It’s done.  The ball is in my cousin’s court.  There’s nothing I can do at this point.  Leave it be.  I wasn’t in the wrong here, and I really don’t give a shit if I’ve offended my uncle.  I have nothing to lose if my uncle hates me; I don’t even know him.  If my uncle decides to take out his problem on my mom?  More shame to him.

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that plus some venue drama had me wishing for a quickie elopement.  Then IP and I started working on the real guest list: friends!  Family and local people taken care of, we moved onto our out of town cool cats.  And we had a ball, imagining if so-and-so attended, what crazy thing would happen?  And wouldn’t it be fun if this person was there?  Oh, how about our friend Yada-yada?  He’d tear up the dance floor!  Oh my!  So we put together our list and asked for addresses; the response we got was overwhelmingly positive.  Some people obviously can’t make it, but a lot of people seemed really enthusiastic.  We now have invites ready to go the following week; geeked we are!  This is what the wedding is supposed to be all about; surrounded by close family, yes, but also by close friends who want to celebrate with you.

And then yesterday was my first fitting.  And I look awesome.  I can’t stop staring at my pictures.  Lame, huh?

So there’s your mega wedding update.  Please keep your fingers crossed that I don’t have more cousins sending me random emails asking me to set aside space for them!