So this post? As the title would indicate, randomness shall abound.

• Welcome to August! In a couple of weeks, IP and I will be celebrating our second anniversary, hopefully complete with a one-layer replica of our wedding cake. I’ve asked a local bakery to take on the job since we’re not in Michigan to go to our original baker, but as of this writing I haven’t heard from said bakery. They initially did respond, saying that they’d be happy to do a cake for 30-50 people. Um . . . I said mini replica, not wedding cake. At most I would want it to serve 10, and that’s with me deciding that yes, indeed, I will take some to my new coworkers. Which I can’t guarantee because, duh, cake. We shall see—I might have to go to another baker if I don’t here from them by this afternoon.
• Chris Osgood is retiring! It’s hard to believe, given that I’ve been watching him play since he was so young, but it’s true. My favorite goalie is hanging up the skates and I doubt anyone could ever take his place in my heart. I’m a bit sad, but realistic—he’s been injured quite a bit lately and Jimmy Howard is up and coming. Ozzie will be staying with the team, helping in the development of new goalies (and my sister and I envision him having the rookies run errands for him, playing his bad jokes on them, and making them get him his Frappuccino). Kidding aside, I’ll miss Ozzie, and if I had to list my favorite moment from him, it’d be his interview after winning the 1998 Stanley Cup. When asked what he was feeling, he said, in a choked up voice, “Everything, really.” My sister and I awwwed at the time, but we knew what he meant. He’d given up some pretty bad goals throughout all four series to get to the Cup, but he was solid 99% of the time. Detroit can be cruel to its goalies, but to see Ozzie vindicated made us happy. And it meant so much that year, after the car accident that hurt Vladimir Konstantinov and Sergei Mnatsakanov after the win in 1997. Ozzie seems like such a joker but he can wear his heart on his sleeve when it comes time to play. People who said he was a mediocre goalie with a good team in front of him? Fuck  ‘em. He was awesome and stood on his head for Detroit. His excitement when the clock ran down in 1998 has stuck in my head ever since I watched that win—I love it. And then he did it again in 2008. For that, all I can is thanks. You kicked ass, Ozzie: enjoy your retirement! Very happy I got to see you play, even if it was only once in D.C. (and you lost, but that’s cool—the Caps got lucky even though the Wings dominated the game). And now a video of that 1998 win (against the Caps, hehe). Look for Ozzie throwing down his gloves to celebrate at 1:39 (and please ignore “Heroes” by the Wallflowers—it’s best if we all do).

• My reading has slowed down significantly; partly it’s the shorter commute, partly it’s the inability to concentrate on the weekends when it comes to reading. I’m in the process of reading David Foster Wallace’s Brief Interviews with Hideous Men; I’m enjoying it so far (an accomplishment for someone who’s not much into postmodernism). I have a gajillion books that I’ve purchased since the last book list and I wonder how I’m ever going to tackle them even as I’m adding more books to my to-read list on Goodreads. So much good stuff to read, so little time to do so, which makes me wonder why people waste their time reading crap like . . . well, let’s just say that I feel like my book club is slowly devolving given some recent developments, but that’s another post.
• IP and I are working on what I’ve secretly (well, not now since he’s reading this) dubbed Project Finance. In involves getting our shit together, double-checking the insurances we have, maxing out our 401(k)s, opening new accounts, getting rid of my student loan, and melding our finances a bit better. We’ve kept things mostly separate until this year when IP started tackling my student loan. At first it was awkward for me; I’m really bad at talking about finances partly because I think a) money sucks and 2) I’m bad at managing money. Never mind that I pay off any credit card usage immediately, contributed significantly to my 401(k) at my old job even if I didn’t max out and tried very hard to keep everything on the up and up. I also insisted on splitting finances 50/50, which wasn’t the smartest because IP makes significantly more than I do, but for me it was a matter of principle; I had to know that I was contributing equally or else I’d feel like a failure. We’re (or, honestly, I’m) slowly adjusting to the fact that 1) we’re bonded for life (quick, what’s that from?) and what we both bring in is both of ours, and b) talking about financial stuff isn’t all that bad. IP told me that the last thing he ever wanted to come between us was money, and he’s right: it’s a leading cause of breakups and we’re too, too good together to let some Washingtons and Lincolns get in our way. Besides, we have to be smart as we peer into the horizon to see what’s coming next.

So that’s about it. I do have some bloggy ideas that I’m going to attempt to write after this one right here (written last Saturday night) and try to actually have a full posting week.

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Don’t Miss a Moment.

Hmm, let me think a sec . . .

Okay, I like it. The Wings are celebrating 20 consecutive years in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and those years have been nothing if not memorable. There were many times when I was about to cry like a baby thanks to sadness and joy, so the moments are there to be made. And damned if the Wings haven’t done just that for 20 years. Sniff. I love you, Wings.

The Wings are also holding a viral video campaign (which is a bit confusing as stuff goes viral on its own, right? You can’t force it to go viral, people have to find it interesting enough to pass along)—fans can create videos using “Don’t miss a moment” as a platform for their creation. As someone said in the comments of this note announcing the campaign: Groovy. If I had any talent, I’d join in on the fun. I do not have talent, however, so I will just provide encouragement and commentary (or, real me will on Facebook).

So what time is it now?

Playoff slogan recap time! Red Wings slogans since the 1990s (Cup years in bold—snarky commentary updated in some cases):

• 94: Paint the Town Red (Cute, eh?)
• 95: A Call to Arms (Al the Octopus rocks)
• 96: I Want Stanley (Thinking about the song still makes me want to sing)
• 97: Get Up! (And cheer for your 2007 Stanley Cup Champions!)
• 98: Raise Your Hands (Ditto—also a sweep of the Washington Caps!)
• 99: Are You Ready? (I think my sister pointed out that McBane from The Simpsons says this at one point in the series; however, the Wings were asking us if we wanted a three-peat—we said yes and we didn’t get it)
• 00: Bring It On Home (Tried, didn’t work)
• 01: Get Your Red On (The Nationals were using this as their slogan a few years back; are they now? I don’t know, I go to Nationals Stadium to hang out with friends, not watch baseball; please)
• 02: Let ‘Em See Red (Playing Carolina in the Finals really created a blur of red, but the northerners rightfully triumphed)
• 03: Red Storm Rising (Lame)
• 04: Turn on the Red Light (Also lame)
• 05: No Slogan—DAMN LOCKOUT!
• 06: Bring It! (Um . . . yeah)
• 07: Join the Red Wave (Yay for Wings players being inundated in cranberry juice!)
• 08: Are You In? (Guys, c’mon)
• 09: The Beard Is Back (Just kind of not right, you know?)
• 10: No Fear. No Excuses. No Mercy. No Limits. (This I like)
• 11: Don’t Miss a Moment. (This I also like)

So here we go! Playoff time is here again and it’s the time we celebrate how awesome our teams are kicking ass on the ice! Good luck to one and all; may the best team win.

However, my advice to Caps fans crowding up Metro Center remains the same as last year: walk to the damn Verizon Center.

I leave you with the Wings’ playoff promo video. I will freely admit that I tear up like crazy when Yzerman hands Konstantinov the Cup. Oh man. There’s something in my eye again.

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Resemblance or no, I think Rick Grimes and Steve Yzerman would be great leaders in a zombie apocalypse. One can bean zombies in the head with skull-cracking, high speed hockey pucks while the other shoots away as needed. Stevie Y can provide quiet leadership and timely, heart-lifting pep talks while Rick freaks out about his wife and partner: “Rick, just be glad it’s not Brendan Shanahan because then you’d be totally shit out of luck. Just ask Craig Janney.” Rick can provide the moral center Stevie will need when they come across zombie Claude Lemieux: “Stephen, I know what he did to Kris Draper was wrong, but keeping him around solely for target practice is a danger to us all.” They can both give the cameras steely-eyed stares and talk about battling on in the face of great injury and danger, like the time Yzerman won the Cup on a bad knee, or the time Grimes woke up from a coma to find the whole world had gone to hell. They’d be kindred spirits, people!

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

At least dream me has some athletic ability and, quite possibly, the chance to make it out of Joe Louis alive.

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Though you know me—win or lose, I can’t stop loving the team and never will. I do have to say I returned from Mexico to be surprised on two fronts: a) the Wings battling on to Game 7 of the first round and 2) the Caps struggling towards Game 7 of the first round. I honestly thought that the Wings wouldn’t advance (I do love them, but I am realist—while they had the best win record the second half of the season, I knew that the playoffs are whole other ball—er, puckgame). I also thought I’d come home to the Caps resting up before the Eastern Conference semifinals. (Seriously, Caps—I totally appreciate you taking my commute into consideration like that, but there was no need to lose to Montreal in the first round! Aww, shucks, y’all are making me blush.)

Kidding, obvs.

So that’s a hockey wrap. What can you do?

Hope to god that the Pens choke at some point!

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

No fear. No excuses. No mercy. No limits.

Eh, I like it. Better than last year’s The Beard Is Back. And Are You In? for the 2008 Stanley Cup championship run was weak, as noted on this blog. The 2010 slogan is a play on the Wings’ 2010 season slogan: Hockeytown, No Limits. I like that because, hell, I’ve never seen so many opposing team jerseys on the street than when the Wings played the Caps at the Verizon Center in January. Hockeytown fans are all over the place and we make it known (just like University of Michigan alumni—and here I must prohibit jokes about desperately moving out of Michigan because they are old, people, and since I did just that: I GET IT). Adding No fear. No excuses. No mercy to No Limits is nice because a) it acknowledges the Wings’ less than spectacular year (with a last-minute, amazing charge to end up in fifth place in the Western Conference and secure a playoff spot) and 2) tells the fans and opposing teams that the Wings will do all they can to win. That’s my boys!

So you guys know what the means, right? Playoff slogan recap time!

Red Wings slogans since the 1990s (Cup years in bold—snarky commentary sort of updated, lucky you!):

• 94: Paint the Town Red (Cute, eh?)
• 95: A Call to Arms (Al the Octopus rocks)
• 96: I Want Stanley (Thinking about the song still makes me want to sing)
• 97: Get Up! (And cheer for your 2007 Stanley Cup Champions!)
• 98: Raise Your Hands (Ditto—also a sweep of the Washington Caps)
• 99: Are You Ready? (I think my sister pointed out that McBane from The Simpsons says this at one point in the series; however, the Wings were asking us if we wanted a three-peat—we said yes and we didn’t get it)
• 00: Bring It On Home (Tried, didn’t work)
• 01: Get Your Red On (The Nationals were using this as their slogan a few years back; are they now? I don’t know, I go to Nationals Stadium to hang out with friends)
• 02: Let ‘Em See Red (Playing Carolina in the Finals really created a blur of red, but the northerners rightfully triumphed)
• 03: Red Storm Rising (Lame)
• 04: Turn on the Red Light (Also lame)
• 05: No Slogan—DAMN LOCKOUT!
• 06: Bring It! (Um . . . yeah)
• 07: Join the Red Wave (Yay for Wings players being inundated in cranberry juice!)
• 08: Are You In? (Guys, c’mon)
• 09: The Beard Is Back (Just kind of not right, you know?)
• 10: No fear. No excuses. No mercy.  No limits. (This I like)

So, here we go! Good luck to every hockey fan out there who has a horse in the race. May the best team win.

And for your entertainment, Red Wings peeps, here’s the best game-winning goal evah from the 1997 Cup run, courtesy of Darren McCarty:

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Congrats! Your team is currently number one in the Eastern Conference and in the NHL, and will probably win the Presidents’ Trophy barring a sudden loss streak that allows San Jose to catch up to you. Your team has done very, very well. As a Detroit Red Wings fan, I have neither love nor hate for your team at all, but wish you luck in the Eastern Conference playoffs. The Presidents’ Trophy is considered something of a jinx, with only a third of the winners getting the Stanley Cup. Of course, this could be due to a) playoff inexperience or 2) injuries or III) plain bad luck. Of the six times the Wings won it, they went on to win the Stanley Cup only twice (adhering to that 30% chance). So, good luck. I just hope my team holds on long enough to stay in the playoff hunt. We’re doing better, so fingers crossed on this end.

However, I have to admit: I kind of, sort of want your team to lose early in the playoffs. And it’s not because of sour grapes. You’ve earned your place atop the standings and home advantage during the playoffs.

No, I kind of, sort of want you to lose because you fans completely snarl up my commute home. I cannot imagine having to deal with all of you until mid-June!

This really applies only to those who converge on the city at absolute ground zero: AKA Metro Center. You do realize that the Verizon Center is a quick, pleasant walk from Metro Center, yes? You do realize that you don’t actually need to wait for a train to Gallery Place? Google Maps tells me that it’s a nine-minute walk to the Verizon Center, and I seriously doubt it takes that long unless you’re walking very slowly. If you exit at 12th and G, you are a straight walking shot up G to the numerous Verizon Center entrances. I actually exit all the time at 12th and F in order to head over to Gordon Biersch; I could wait for the train, but what’s the purpose? It delays me from the beer, pizza, and good times that are rightfully mine when it’s happy hour time. And I can take an easy, short-distance glance at the Verizon Center as I turn the corner on 9th to down some beer. Why can’t you fans please do the same? There are advantages:

1. You’d save money! Not a ton, but if you’re regular season ticket holder and attend a lot of the games, have access to playoff tickets, and find yourself coming to Metro Center until mid-June, it’ll add up!
2. A sea of red on downtown streets is intimidating and thrilling, especially during playoff time. Walk outside, loud and proud for your team. Pretend you’re practicing for the Stanley Cup parade.
3. Exercise! It’s less than half a mile, which is about 50 calories burned by a person who weighs 150 pounds and is walking at a pace of three miles per hour. Sure, not a ton, but if you do it the majority of the year and walk back to Metro Center? It will also add up! Any exercise is good exercise.
4. Avoid delays! Especially in the summer, when Metro seems to fuck up even more, you get to leave the impatient, overheated waiting to us working slobs.

Obviously, if your health is such that transferring at Metro Center is better for you, or it’s pouring cats and dogs, or the temperature is in the high 90s plus 90% humidity, wait for the train. But it pains me to see so many Caps jerseys on the train (mostly #8s, but at least some of you are starting to realize your team’s roster consists of more than Ovechkin—sorry, can’t resist that dig) for just one stop on a perfectly nice day. Or crowding up the platform so that those of us trying to get home get pushed back further and further away from the doors during a major delay. You’d also clear up a lot of congestion at Gallery Place during peak time—you wouldn’t have to fight to exit the system. While the weather can start to suck in late May or early June, it’s less than 10 minutes. You won’t melt, promise. Again, unless we’re talking Ozone Action Day, just walk.

I commute to Metro Center from Virginia in the afternoons, and a lot of the Caps fans I end up commuting in with seem to not understand Metro etiquette (like not hogging seats during rush hour, not leaning against poles, speaking in indoor voices and laying off the shouting, etc.). You’re almost touristy when you’re in a station: the slow walk, the pausing to make sure you’re going in the right direction that causes a line of people to side-step you to avoid a human pile-up, the above-mentioned lack of Metro etiquette. And you make it even worse by crowding up my train home. At least you’re going to see a hockey game, which is a fun, exciting thing. I just finished a day of boring work and want to get home, work out, and relax without having to deal with a bigger horde of humans than necessary that can work in tandem to make home difficult to get to in a reasonable amount of time. And seriously? If I have a choice between Metro and a walk, I’m taking the goddamn walk. If I could walk home, I’d be one happy WordNerd.

Please make my commute more palatable at Metro Center. Walk to the Verizon Center already! Then maybe I won’t wish a first-round sweep elimination on you.

For your edification:

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Since it looks like hibernation is the order of the day, how about some random observations to tide us over, hmm?

• Soon you’ll be seeing the debut of a new feature on Sonnet 87: actual sonnets. I get all kinds of crazy sonnet searches ranging from zombie sonnets to Ann Arbor sonnets to sonnets 2010, so I figured why not? Using the searches as inspiration and varying between Spenserian, Shakespearean and Petrarchan, I will slowly but surely write the sonnets. However, since they will be creative works, I’ll be placing the blog under a Creative Commons license. Which one, I don’t know yet. Will my sonnets be good enough to steal? No, most likely not. Will they be funny? Hopefully so, and not in a painful way. Are they copyright worthy? Yeah, since it’s my work. I can’t help it if some kid wants searches for my non-existent analysis of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 87 for his or her college paper, but I wouldn’t want something into which I put some minimal creative effort used for someone else’s profit. Like I said, I doubt they’ll be good enough to steal, but I do want to cover my ass.
• Three nights ago, I had a dream that I was a groupie for Rob Thomas. Yep, you read that right, I was a groupie for the lead singer of matchbox twenty. While I do find him attractive, it’s less in a hubba-hubba kind of a way and more in a “Can my husband and I have coffee with you and your wife sometime? You two seem cool,” way. Although I don’t know if IP would go for that: he thinks Thomas is a whiny singer with random lyrics. I personally think Rob Thomas is an excellent lyricist and just gets better as time goes on. I’m starting to think of him as Paul Simon-y: willing to experiment different genres, maturing with his writing, and doing what he can to push himself creatively while a lot of other people are stuck in the pop rock world. And here I must add that I’ve been listening to Cradlesong non-stop during my commutes and workouts lately.
• For the second weekend in a row, a snowstorm has ruined our dresser-shopping expedition. Cue sad WordNerd. Because I’ll be traveling to visit Michigan next weekend (assuming Tuesday and Wednesday aren’t snowy clusterfucks themselves that ruin flight plans), IP and I won’t be able to go then, either. In the meantime, the old dresser has stopped shaving off pieces of my left middle finger, so at least there’s a ray of sunshine in this woeful tale of unattained bedroom furniture.
• I don’t care if President Obama used “Snowmaggedon” for this particular storm, or that many other people are, too—in the WordNerdia-IPia household, it’s Snowpocalypse 2010 or snOMG II. Iwisse. (Pssst. Iwisse means “truly” or “indeed” for all of you not in the Middle English know. Yes, it’s obsolete.) But the whole Snovechkin thing in reference to the Caps’ Alex Ovechkin? I love hockey, and I can see kind of what fans are going for, but: a clunker of a name, honestly.
• Apparently all liquor stores in MoCo are closed today. IP is doubly happy that he stopped off to get some Jack Daniels after an appointment because he finds the closed condition of the liquor stores to be “just cruel”.
• Is there anything cozier than baking some cookies, writing a post, and exchanging snarky comments with the husband? Methinks not.

That’s all your WordNerd has for now!

P.S.: This is Sonnet 87′s 900th post. Huzzah!

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

EVIL IS AFOOT IN THE WORLD.

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

I’ll get over it, of course, but I had been hoping for the Cup for various reasons, and the small, cutesy reason I was nursing the most was this:

• 2002: IP and I meet, start dating.  Wings win Cup.
• 2008: Wings win Cup.  IP and I get engaged.
• 2009: Had hoped Wings would win Cup.  IP and I get married.

See how cute that would’ve been?  Major milestones for us marked by Cup wins?  Le sigh.  When I told this to IP last night, he mock-lamented that we were now destined for a bitter divorce.  Not what I believe, obvs, but it would have been a cute story.

So congrats to Pittsburgh, who took last year’s disappointment and capitalized on it.  That’s good: that’s how great teams are made.  It’s what the Wings did after their 1995 loss against the New Jersey Devils.  From that disappointment stems the team you see today.  Detroit had a spectacular run this year, and they still have a team that’s great.  Detroit’s always, always called old and on the way out by the hockey pundits, but the vast majority of the Wings seem to be younger than me these days—that ain’t old.  Sure, we don’t have flashy, NHL-marketable players, but that’s okay.  Wings aren’t about flash.  And they’ll come back strong next year, I’m sure.

Still, this sucks.  This sucks, sucks, sucks.  I still love Ozzie, though; he played a hell of a post-season.  He’d better get inducted into the Hall of Fame when the time comes, dammit.

Updated, 9:15pm: I ended up selecting a picture from Crater Lake to put on my desktop; it’s a great picture of Wizard Island with a motorboat streaming water alongside it.  It’s an absolutely gorgeous picture and I love it, but each time I reduce my windows and see the picture, I get hockey sad all over again. :( :( :(

©2012 Sonnet 87. All Rights Reserved. Originally published by WordNerd for Sonnet87.com. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.